The Blogging Affairs Desk

When It’s Good, It’s Good, When It’s BAD, It’s Better…

Scumbag

So last night, while watching ‘Destroyed in Seconds’ on The Discovery Channel, The Lady passes me her macbook, to show me a chat she received from one of her friends on Facebook.  I decided to have a little fun at the guy’s expense.

Here’s the chat, in it’s entirety, where I’m typing as Ang:

Stefan:  can we hook up one last time b4 u tie the not?
8:53pm

Angela:  sure…. but you have to keep it on the DL
8:53pm

Stefan:  i can do that
8:53pm

Angela:  you sure?
8:53pm

Stefan:  when and where?
yep
8:53pm

Angela:  cuz if James finds out
he’ll kill us both
8:53pm

Stefan:  i like my life
i won’t tell anyone
8:53pm

Angela:  where are you right now?
8:54pm

Stefan:  RI
8:54pm

Angela:  thnk you could get here tonight?*
James is in Ptown at work for the next two days
8:54pm

Stefan:  no, i’ll be back next mon/tues/wed
8:54pm

Angela:  would you seriously come here?
8:55pm

Stefan:  tonight i can’t next week i have to be I need to go to court
8:55pm

Angela:  what are you going to court for?
8:55pm

Stefan:  a+b and a+b plus intemidation
8:56pm

Angela:  and you’re the defendent?
8:56pm

Stefan:  ya
8:56pm

Angela:  who did you beat up?
hey whats your phone number**
i lost it
8:56pm

Stefan:  508-///-////
8:56pm

Angela:  ok cool
8:57pm

Stefan:  i didn’t beet up anyone the chatham police just blamed me
8:57pm

Angela:  ooooh
8:57pm

Stefan:  whats your # i don’t think i have yours anymore either
8:57pm

Angela:  uhhh. fuck hold on i’ll call you
8:57pm

Stefan:  k
8:57pm

Angela:  so you can have it
:D:D***
8:59pm

Stefan:  did you call?
8:59pm

Angela:  yeah I did Stefan.
I thought you were at work
and didn’t have facebook>
weird.
8:59pm

Stefan:  i’m talking to you of course i have facebook
9:00pm

Angela:  so I talked to a different stefan, right?
you must think I’m as dumb as you are….
9:00pm

Stefan:  what?
I never got your call txt me
9:01pm

Angela:  I’m using Ang’s facebook to play jumbalee
oh, and Ang is right here
9:01pm

Stefan:  so who is this?
9:01pm

Angela:  we’re both having a laugh and a half
James
9:02pm

Stefan:  oh, well this is craig looks like were both fucking with each other… not as funny now, did you actually call stefan?
9:03pm

Angela:  Yes, from Angela’s phone.****
9:03pm

Stefan:  oh, shit now he will know im on his facebook
9:04pm

Angela:  awww
9:04pm

Stefan:  whatever its not likes hes gunna beat me up lol
9:04pm

Angela:  bummer. looks like you deserve it.
9:05pm

Stefan:  no i’m getting him back! he did it to me
9:05pm

Angela:  well, good luck with that.
9:05pm

Stefan:  well he’ll be done wit work in 30 min so i need to go later

* Ang wanted me to lure him to the apartment, and then wait for him in the parking lot.

**Ang then wanted me to call him

***I call him, and this is the conversation that takes place:

Stefan:  Hello?

Me:  Hey Stefan.

Stefan:  Hey…

Me:  You have no idea who this is, do you?

Stefan:  No, no idea..

Me:  It’s James.

Stefan:  James Who?

Me:  James, Angela’s Fiance… I’m talking to you on facebook…

Stefan:  Uhh… I’m at work, I couldn’t possibly be on facebook….

Me:  Yeah.  You’re fucked.  (click).

****Ang takes over because I had to pee.

Advertisements

December 2, 2008 Posted by | Gchat Sessions, People I Hate, Too Much Time | , , , | Leave a comment

The Following GChat Has Been Brought to You By Old Spice…

me: so yeah

Angela: yea
me: I got a lot of … fucking “oh, go fill out the application online..” bullshit
i filled out a real app at … KB toys
I guess they really need help
I filled out an App at Sunglass Hut
and I have an interview with American Eagle on Friday at 3… at 330, the manager at Sunglass Hut is going to be at the store
so Ill bop right over there and see if I can’t make a good impression with them
Angela: hrm
i kindaa hate you……..
me: WHY?
Angela: bc its so easy for u
everything is
me: um, not really
Angela: well, u make shit look easy
me: I just make it look easy
it really isn’t
i just got that swagger
Angela: hrm
yea

November 4, 2008 Posted by | Blogging Couple, Corporate America Hates You, Gchat Sessions, Out and About | , , | 1 Comment

NOT THE COFFEE POT!

(Shortly after Jim posted his FaL article, we intercepted this gchat between him and The Lady, referencing the email he received from the RM, in particular, the coffee pot.  -ed)

12:30 PM Angela: HES TAKING THE COFFEE MAKER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!
12:31 PM me: at first, he said he didn’t want it
but now I guess he’s taking it
my guess is
he won’t take it
seeing how there’s a science experiment growing inside of the pot
Angela: hah!

October 15, 2008 Posted by | Blogging Couple, Gchat Sessions, Living in an Insane Asylum, People I Hate | , , , | Leave a comment

Hokie Weighs in on The Coming Election

Hokie: hey man… just started to read your post “big rig”

i might suggest this book… if you get spare time
me: oooh, i’m looking for a new book too
is this the book that kid was blabbering about before he was tased in front of john kerry?
Hokie: no clue…
but if you’re down with some statistical proof that the 2004 election was rigged
i’d suggest that book
Sent at 1:53 PM on Friday
me: aye aye
Ill check it out
Hokie: though… in my opinion.. be prepared to be fairly bummed out
Sent at 2:01 PM on Friday
me: how so?
Hokie: if what they say in this book is true… which i believe it is…
our electoral system is beyond fucked
me: oh, are you kidding me?
we’re this close to going to a fully automated computer system
like… that’s not up for grabs
to any hacker anywhere
Sent at 2:04 PM on Friday
Hokie: or already isn’t
me: thats true too
Sent at 2:06 PM on Friday
Hokie: yeah.. i’ve done a fair amount of reading on this subject
so much so.. that i’ve made the educated decision NOT to vote in the national elections
which has caused a lot of people to give me shit…
me: really?
understandably
Hokie: but my main reasoning was to discuss the state of our electoral system
since our generation could vote in the presidential election (2000)
it’s been stolen/rigged/hacked
and there is so much ‘patriotism’ behind voting… that people vote blindly.. without actually peeking behind the ‘curtain’
and are so amped up about it.. that hardly anyone listens to me when i bring these points up
but here’s my point…
if it’s rigged…
me: i’m listening
Hokie: how does ‘you’ voting
and turning a blind eye to the broken system…
me: equal patroitism?
Hokie: and me not voting… but trying to expose the broken system…
make us any different?
and i don’t mean you…
but the royal you
me: right
the all inclusive “you”
no, i hear you loud and clear
Hokie: anyway.. i’ve made the decision to vote this go around
me: there’s always been the whole “well, because of the electoral college, why does my vote matter in the first place” arguement as well
Hokie: yeah..
me: so you are going to vote?
Hokie: or that even after the electoral college weighs in.. the supreme court has higher say
i am going vote…
i figure if i vote.. then complain about the system.. maybe people will listen to me
me: oppose to shutting you down with the “well you didn’t vote, you can’t complain” theory
which i think is bullshit
Hokie: exactly
me: if you pay your taxes, you should have a voice to complain
because ultimately
it’s not your vote that’s being spent
it’s your tax dollars
Hokie: exactly…
Sent at 2:15 PM on Friday
Hokie: but yeah…
also.. and jake made this point…
if more people vote… its much harder to fudge numbers
which… i admit.. does go in the face of my previous theory
me: I disagree
i think with the more people voting, it’s easier to fudge the numbers
i mean, in the event that it’s uh, close
which i don’t see it being in this election
i see obama whomping the shit out of mccain
Sent at 2:18 PM on Friday
Hokie: true…
i think jakes point was that.. by and far.. the folk who weren’t voting before are going to be obama supporters
so if we make the margin huge.. as you assume it will be… it would be hard to fudge a mccain victory
me: exactly
but if you have like
250 million people voting
and it comes out to like
173 million votes for obama
and 172 for mccain
there’s a million vote difference
where it could go anywhere, you know?
oppose to… if 250 people vote
and 175 vote for obama
we can actually SEE who voted
it’s just easier to track
Sent at 2:22 PM on Friday
Hokie: true.. true…
and if you don’t want to read that whole book
RS has a great article by RFKJr
me: eh
me and rolling stone
aren’t on the ups
Hokie: por que?
me: from an ideological stand point
i disagree with alot of what RS says and does
I understand that it’s more… pop culture encompassing…
which extends to politics
but it’s so… obviously…. like
anti-republican
it’s one thing to be liberal
but it’s another to be obnoxiously anti-anything
it’s the … like reciprocal of FOX News almost
and then they try to pass themselves off as a music mag
like… they review … fucking albums
in between telling you how terrible the republican agenda is
now
don’t let me sit here and tell you I don’t read huff post or anything
in recent years i’ve become more and more liberal in my thinking
but… like
there’s a line
where you cross from war cries to obnoxious screaming
I’m just sayin….

October 10, 2008 Posted by | Corporate America Hates You, Gchat Sessions, Those Crazy Politicians, World Wide Events | , | Leave a comment

We Were Literally Feet Apart….

Angela: hey cutie

me: why hello there
Angela: wasabi
me: wasabi wenesday?
Angela: i want suhi
*sushi
me: you just had a fish sandwich!
Angela: yea, well, its not the same
me: no I agree
but it is delicious
oppose to this couch
Angela: hrmmm hrmmmmmmmmmmmmm
me: this couch only bother’s my back when I have my laptop with me
Angela: not me
)
but then again
I’m not almost 30
ya old baby cakes
me: sigh
i hate that
everyone’s always like
“dude, you’re almost thirty”
i see this as a whiny blogpost in the making
Angela: well, you are
me: no I know
i just detest being reminded of it every ten minutes by every swinging knob walking down the street
as if I’d forget or something
Angela: speaking of swinging knobs
me: …..
Angela: 8=====D
me: …..
how very appropriate
Angela: ( o )( o )
me: sigh…
hold on, lemme remember how to make a vag….
Angela: you can made a vag?!
me: yes LOLang… I can has made vag….
Angela: ………………………..
me: ( | )
that’s a butt….
I think vag is….
Angela: ……………
me: ( ^ )
Angela: FAIL
me: this is a butthole….
no wait
i really can’t do it on here
( | )
*
Angela: wow
you suck
me: yeah I’m terrible at… making typed anatomy
Angela: yes, i would have to agree
me: well
then great
Angela: huh
me: you’re watching a video on Finland?!”
….argh…
Angela: yex
AIR GUITAR!
Sent at 9:35 PM on Wednesday
me: Link me.
me: pfft….
Angela: …………..
Sent at 9:37 PM on Wednesday
me: I fucking hate Finland by the way
Angela: lame
Sent at 10:12 PM on Wednesday
me: I just needed to wrap up that point, because I’m going to post this gchat
Angela: this is a lame ass gchat
me: but it has you drawing dicks
so it’s worth posting
Angela: i drew a dick?
where?
me: scroll up genius
Angela: i just did
you should post a better gchat
me: its not like I have a bunch on stand by
oh, let me go into my magical bag of gchats
Angela: like our first one, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
me: aww
Angela: i just ashed all over my keyboard
me: you know, I wish i could link my old blog into my new blog…. cuz I’d so take “first one” and make that clickable to the first gchat i posted back whenever
oh my god, i’m so glad you’re on the porch right now, behind glass
Angela: did you fart
me: oh, did I.
ugh.
Angela: i did too!!!!
me:
you’re a petite and delicate little girl
Angela: i am happy to say
me: you are incapable of breaking wind
Angela: that i have never farted around you (unless I was asleep) or taken a shit with you in the house
well, I hardly shit anyway….so I guess the latter doesn’t count now does it?
me: you’ve never taken a shit in the house, really?
Angela: I have, just when you were not home
me: well, thats what I ment
babe, i like, poop all the time…
like, it’s loud too, and I get embarrassed, but…. I just shrug it off
Angela: I know, trust me, I know, I can hear you.
me: HA!
Angela: like, if I had to, I would just turn on the faucet or sing.
me: sing while you shit
that won’t be obvious or anything
Angela: thats something my sister would do.
HEY! its better than hearing it!
me: “the hill are ahhhh-uhhhhh!! *ploop!*-live with the sooowwwwww–*ploop!*—oooooond of muuuu-ooooo*ploop!*-sic!”
Angela: pbbbbbbbbbbt
me: ok we gotta wrap this up cuz I’m losing battery and I need to post this
Angela: ok
me: so say something witty before we go
Angela: i wanna fuck.
me: that’ll do!

September 3, 2008 Posted by | Blogging Couple, Gchat Sessions, Living in an Insane Asylum, Too Much Time | , , , | 2 Comments

A Few Words of Wisdom from The Man of the Year

Hokie: guy

me: yo
Hokie: what’s the haps?
me: not much
long ass day
what’s up with you?
Hokie: hanging out after work…
probably going to do some freelance stuff
so all is cool at work with the blog whatnot?
me: yeah it’s kinda blown over
for now
but I don’t think I’ll ever being going back to [my old blog]
Hokie: you should post bullshit posts
talk about how much fun you’re having at work
let no sarcasm be detected
me: hahaha
that’s not a bad idea
Hokie: if they’re going to be putting you on surveillance
me: I know, right
the thing is
Hokie: just a thought..
me: I hardly have time to post on my real blog….
let alone on a … doppleganger blog
Hokie: yeah… true
Sent at 7:29 PM on Tuesday

August 19, 2008 Posted by | Gchat Sessions, Too Much Time | | Leave a comment